I'll probably wait too long...

Dear Allison,

I really want to start making an involved effort in making my life better. I want to hear new music, and I want to read more (although I've been doing pretty good on the front, although I don't know if Twilight counts toward my goal), I want to get healthy and meet new people. I need a change so badly. Maybe I should go on a mission trip... I just have a hard time convincing myself that I deserve to go on one, or that it isn't hypocritical of me. I guess "deserve" isn't the right word, or the right way to put it, but it probably gets my point across. I don't really know how to talk about this... I don't know. I just haven't found it yet. I haven't looked for it yet either... I haven't been able to understand it or comprehend it so how can I believe it?

I'm not happy, but I'm too apathetic to change. Why am I like this?

-Allison

P.S. - I love this so much:

I've found it
What?
Eternity
The fusion of sun and sea

This most likely won't last long

So hello again internets. I haven't really been that great to you lately. I used to be all obsessed with you, but that had a lot to do with a dumb boy. I'm over at Karla's little baby house. It is icing. We are watching that movie with Mandy Moore...How to Deal. And we are drinking some juice. I am burning some Mason Jennings. It's supposed to change my life. I sort of can't wait, I need my life to be changed.